Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
the raccoons are back...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
