used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize