we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
