Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize