with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
