Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
