is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
