This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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