just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Please don't give away my fajitas
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