Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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