Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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