they need to just BURY HIM!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
did i just pee glitter
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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