what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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