My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
