After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
