I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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