My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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