i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
