I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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