How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
