he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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