oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
