how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
