we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
