I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
