'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
