Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
