Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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