yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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