All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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