Ambien. No doubt about it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
