mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
