My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
