Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
