U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
