look no pants
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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