I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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