at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well I just put wine in my tea
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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