I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
