it wasn't lemon gatorade
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
