Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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