I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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