I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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