I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
PANTIES FOUND
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
