Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
