What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
