we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
