And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
