So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
