Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How external is "for external use only"?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
