i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
