i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
