i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
