i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
