im about as happy as oj after his trial
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
