great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
