i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
