If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
