i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
