I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
